Experience

Some days you just float through the hours, hardly conscious of your existence. You get to bed and wonder where the day went, what did you do, what did you think about. Other days are memorable. Guess what today is turning out to be?

Today I’ve had conversations with various friends, colleagues and family that each would have been noteworthy because we covered sometimes unfamiliar but vital terrain, negotiating emotions, stresses, sadnesses and most importantly support. I’ve had an ‘interesting’ time of it lately but I’m not the only one and those I hold dear to me are dealing with their own baggage and pain. Oh, there’s a rare old spectrum right now, i can tell you – except i cant of course.

And yet we all worry for each other, look out for each other, boss each other about (maybe that’s just me to be fair…)

The point of this post?

Each experience, each pleasure, each pain builds up into our personality, our core. You can’t escape bad things. It’s what you do with them that counts. What can you take from the unholy cr@p that comes your way sometimes? What can you make of it? What will you think of 10 years from now?

Now, I don’t think I’ll ever get to the Nirvana-like state of being grateful for my Parkinson’s – smells like teen hokum to me – but today I caught a glimpse of what this and all the other happenings I collectively call ‘shit’ has done for/to me – it’s given me a patina, a background against which to appreciate the finer things in my life. I don’t always appreciate them, it’s true, but at least I’m more aware and thus more likely to.

I’m getting better at focussing on my priorities, not good, but better. My boys, my family, my friends. I know now that I’m not cut out to be a Big London chick anymore. That’s OK. In the past, it wouldn’t have been, but I think I can start to say goodbye to that version of Stitch. God knows what version 2.0 (I’m being kind with my numbering system, I know) will be like but 1.0 has been replaced. It’s not fit for purpose any more.

This is no neat ending, more another shuffle along Life. But, as I say, today has been memorable for it and for that I’m grateful. Hence this rather self indulgent, dare I say it, waffly post. But I wanted to note this one down for future reference.

Now, I just need to magic some happy into my nearest and dearest’s lives. Fairy dust anyone?!?!

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