A-Z

How many times have you heard someone say “I don’t know how you fit it all in”? And no, I’m not referring to that pair of skinny jeans you bought in a moment of hope all that time ago.

I get it quite a lot. And I suppose I do quite a lot what with work, the boys, making stuff, chores etc. but the real answer is I don’t fit it in. It spills out over the edges of my day, into my evenings, into my dreams and onto my ever expanding to do list. And then I get worried about what needs to be done. And worry affects my PD symptoms which reduces my ability to get on with things and so it spirals downwards.

I know the answer is twofold, prioritise and ruthlessly prune that to do list. But what’s more important, picking blackberries with the boys and little friend so we can make crumble for tea or hanging out the washing? I bet you know which one I chose (it was delicious btw). By the end of yesterday I had two happy children, filthy, full and sleepy. I also had a pile of laundry, a sink piled high with dishes and a playroom that looked like several bombs had detonated in unison within it. Oh, and a body that decided to ignore the principles of gravity and act as if the ground was tipping upside down. Saves on roller-coaster tickets.

OK, you may say, no problem, stay chilled, just do the chores once they’ve hit the hay. That’s what I did but then I ended up so tired I could hardly move, didn’t get to see the Other Half properly and generally felt grumpy and Cinderella like (pre Fairy Godmother I hasten to add).

In the immortal words of Mumsnet, Am I Being Unreasonable? To a certain extent, yes, I think I am. Raising a family is hard graft and I signed up for it, twice. Mea culpa. But then again, there is another part of me that wants to shout, NO! It is not unreasonable to have a life where domesticity is enlivened by a little bit of ‘me’ time. I’ve got a pretty serious condition and I need to manage it, physically and mentally. I have to confess I’ve failed on both counts recently and it’s damn frustrating. This redundancy threat isn’t helping either.

I’m sorry for whining but I can’t even step off the merry go round and use my Disability Leave Allowance because they are picking the poor unfortunates who will be canned this week and so I need to be seen to be working hard, drone-like. Ffs. I don’t often get proper cross but I’m fair boiling at the moment about this little irony in my life.

I know as the boys grow I’ll have more time – those interminable waits at various after school clubs and weekend birthday parties spring to mind. But tbh that feels a long ways a way right now. I’ve cleared my plate of so much I feel like Oliver Twist but it doesn’t seem to be enough. For the moment however, I’m planning on being my normal, stubborn self and so I refuse to sacrifice my making. I won’t scrimp on playing with the boys either, I’ll never get that time again. So that leaves work, of the house and economic varieties.

Quite frankly, I am at the point where I want to say good riddance to both of them. I know I can’t but I am going to rationalise. I am also going to see how much a cleaner costs. Then, if I keep my job I’ll get someone to help me at home. And if I fall on the sword of redundancy, I have started my research into an alternative career.

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8 Comments Add yours

  1. fianccetto says:

    I’m a cleaner (and evening tutor). Look for a smaller family-run style cleaning company where the bosses also clean. They know how to pick, and keep, good cleaners.
    Also, if you have a choice of one cleaner doing the job, or 2 in &apr the time, go for one. Someone working alone is more likely to be looking for ways to help you more, as the weeks go by and the job gets easier. Things like emptying a bathroom bin when overflowing, taking a dirty coffee mug down to the kitchen sink, cleaning those awkward bits of your house that you’ve given up on and tried to hide.Two cleaners have less time to play with and are always under pressure to rush and get to the next job.
    Thirdly, 2 or 3 hours every week is much better than once a fortnight. A good cleaner can share the jobs like windows, skirtings, vacuuming blinds, spider hunting and having a good sort-out so it all gets done at some point every month or so.
    You usually find if you sign up for being a regular customer it is a bit cheaper, and I think we charge about £10 an hour here, give or take a bit.
    Lastly, you often hear about people cleaning up for the cleaner. There is some wise logic to this, as there is only so much a person can do in 2 hours, so if there is a pile of washing up, and a lot of toys to pick up everywhere, it takes longer to clean what lies beneath and so there might not be time for a thorough vacuum or dust everywhere.

    1. stitch this says:

      Brilliant stuff. Thank you so much.

  2. Caroline says:

    Just remember, you are a crazy, multi-talented amazing person and just focus on those things you can control 🙂 Leave everything else to those who think they know better but are actually too stupid to realise that they don’t. Perhaps a higher authority or existentialist fate has something much, much better and more enjoyable up their sleeve? Try to go with the flow and life will take care of itself; honestly 🙂

    1. stitch this says:

      I’m trying. Honest. Thanks honey.

  3. I’m finding at the moment that the more often I go into work the more and more annoyed I’m getting – childcare costs, glass ceiling and the slight issue of my son not sleeping beyond 5am currently. House also a pigsty and snap doing a blog which means that you have to do crafty stuff too. ARGH!! I think a cleaner sounds like a very sensible idea, please send them round to mine when they’re done x

    1. stitch this says:

      Do I get commission?!?!?

  4. dillytante says:

    Awww I can really sympathise. I’m at the stage where I just want to beat my chest and cry “is this it?!”. Sadly can’t afford a cleaner else I’d have one in a heartbeat. I hope you get good news from work.

    1. stitch this says:

      Any news would be better than this. I am surprised I’m being so affected tbh but I guess the anxiety effects of PD have got something to do with it….the joy!

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