How much farrow and ball does the world really need,

When will we be too too tasteful?

Will all the dives

Become too gentrified,

Will all that’s bright become hateful?

The march of the neutral, the hoards of the taupe,

The mouse ear, the off white, the bone. 

The urban landscape will melt into one

And we’ll all have a beautiful home. 

And once they have painted that final top coat they’ll look at their cafes and say

“We’re high end, we’re top notch, exclusive, so chic,

of course our dear customers must pay”

Put prices sky high, make them feel so elite

The margins will shoot ever upwards. 

But beware greedy traders

You really should know

That business can also move backwards.   

A few weeks will go and a new place will show

Up, with paintwork a shimmering sage. 

You watch punters flock

To the new kid on block

And wonder where did you go wrong. 

The moral is clear: 

You’ve nothing to fear

If you look after people not property. 

Shun farrow and ball

Ignore revamp calls

And you’ll end up with profits not uppity. 

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