Grab

ive been absent for a while, not in spirit but in keyboard dexterity. I e been so busy that all my energy has been used up by the end of the day so I can’t even tap a quick post out. But, I have done SO SO SO much….just listen…

  • opened my art space for emerging (for which read skint) artists;
  • held 3 shows;
  • Rented out 90% of the studio space;
  • designed and completed my son’s school yearbook (it’s at the printer now….I can’t wait to see it)
  • prepared for and appeared on an art based TV competion; and
  • prepared for and just filmed an appearance on a general knowledge quiz show that is very famous and very cool….and I did not embarrass myself with a low sad score. I got a good score and can confirm I did not come last.
  • Got recognition for my artwork from unrelated third parties i.e. Not family
  • got an A for my university work this semester…yay!

and the boys and I are busy prepping for a trip around Europe on interrail. We go in about 2 weeks. That’s an adventure!

So, please know that my abscence has been due to activity rather than torpor – I may be whacked but I’m not beaten. Ever.

Lucky number

So, as I said last time, I’ve started a new arts space here in stitchopolis. It’s my new baby and I’m loving it. I’ve come to realize That the genesis of this venture is a massive step for me. For Once instead of saying ‘one day I will do that’ I’ve just got up and done it. It had made me so much more Confident in other areas of My Life and has left me way more appreciative of my friends and network. 

Yesterday I went to a street party being held round the corner from the unit. I knew so many people, all for different reasons- it was lovely. And me and my business were right there in the middle of it. Great. 

I also met someone who was struggling with life and just needed to offload and breathe again. I am still stressing on a daily basis but omg life is so much better than this time last year even. 

So I guess this post is to mark my recognition that I’ve come a LONG way in the lifetime of this blog (7years!!) and that means j can continue to go even further….cool, an adventure!! 

Now

I have a confession to make, I have another love in my life. I have been working on another venture and this weekend it took flight. I am now the founder of an arts space here in Stitchopolis. Can you believe it??  Check it out here

Hope you like!

Folding

Today I folded paper and

My son dictated the design. 

He chose my folds, the way I turned

The paper, here then there. 

I find the folding soothes the soul

I love to concentrate

To focus is to forget – i find

It helps me lose the thread. 

I like to let my mind unwind

And fold until it’s done. 

Yet, if I hadn’t joined this club

I wouldn’t even know. 

Just think, without this illness

I would not have had time to fold

I wouldn’t take my Boys to school

I’d be late home 

An absent mum

And so to conclude I say

My brain while raddled understands

That illness brings both good and bad

And we can choose to some extent

The kind of life we had. 
 

Supernova

The timeline is complicated

But unforgivingly straight 

Before the night We shine

We burn

I’m bright, I know

I have letters to prove

To me, at least.

But Perhaps this fire this inner flash

This drive these files this splash

Are my last gasp

My battle cry

Before I start to fade.

I’ll rage against the downwards force

Oppose it with my will

I’ll go down fighting

But I know

I’m going downwards still.

I see it clearly now and then 

I catch a glimpse of truth

And I ignore it

And push on

There’s f2%k all else to do.

Berlin face off 

I was standing on the pavement

My fingers cold and stiff 

The phone loose in my hand 

It’s job done

Directions good.

I saw my goal

Iconic and cool

Lines clean against the cobalt rise

And then a blue

Familiar friend

Caught my eye and

As I bent

Towards its light

 I saw my life

The first one – past –

Just sitting there

Edging in my view

Not framing

Not quiet

But glowering, dark

No face just squares

And that same blue

That I wore close

And thought would stay

Now shadowed by the new design

The squares no longer box me in

I turned and walked

Away.

Rocking

I crashed and burned today, 

my body just refusing 

To move the way I wished it to,

I stopped and pain ripped through.

My friend appeared and so I asked

For help.

She did, of course.

And so I glided home

A passenger

 all tucked in tight

But weary to the bone.

My partner saved me at the gate

And placed me on a throne

Of rocking chair and threadbare stool

And gave me water cool.

I cried, I have to admit now.

I cried, the tears were hot.

Because I have so much to do 

But I had quite forgot,

That moderation is the key,

I have to pace myself.

Because a swoop begats a dive

And I can’t face myself.

And yet I’m here at almost 12.

I’m sitting up alone.

Because despite my limits clear

I still must make you hear…

Make you understand – 

 this Disease does not define me

Confine, oh yes, it does that well

But best me? 

Not a hope in hell.

on being counted

ok, how are we all today? the last day of 2016, a strange and momentous year in so many ways. I am mulling over the implications of the macro political and economic shifts, really I am, but lets face it, that’s a bit too high brow for my normal posts isn’t it? But I have to admit to a new mood of, if not sombreness, then definitely responsibility.

In other social fora I have been learning a lot from fellow PD people about tolerance, forgiveness and the importance of honesty when discussing the effects of PD on life, family and loved ones. I have also been learning about my responsibility to myself to be clear about what I need to do and have in order to manage this disease the best way I can. Sometimes the choices involved are hard but necessary. I have a long way to go on this but I have started on that path. Consequently expect to find some posts on PD in 2017, I am dropping the shield a little to show you what its really like in the tue hope that it may improve understanding a little.

I think this little blog has a place in the world of Parkinson’s advocacy. I just looked thru my stats and so far this, PollieMath and my artist site have attracted almost 10,000 visitors and 50,000 views. I have written over 1,000 posts (Phew!) and, when I tend the sites properly, I get decent enough traction. I will never be a tub thumper but I CAN write so that is how I will help.

I don’t want to dwell on the past. I never have. 2016 has been on the whole a wonderful year enriched with lovely friends and family, my massive Japanese adventure, increased presence as an artist and poetry published commercially too. Next year will rock too. Just you wait and see.

Tap

I have mastered the art of dual motion

I expand while contracting, resist while inviting.

Apart. Always apart. Even when a part.

And I angle for those fissures:

Points where the sharp can see.

Try to hold up a light to the crack
Without drawing attention to me.
The contradiction is not lost.

Only a few see through the layers,

To Pierce the shutting cloth.

And those who win will find me, spent.
Me, in truth. Me, lost in my youth.
Me, streaming with new thoughts and light
Me, the same, but redefined.
A junction of hot and cold, fast and slow.

My challenge is to mix and edit.

There is one thing on which I’m clear

Whatever I feel, I am not tepid.